The staff a DCJ recently conducted a survey. While all agreed that there is a good chance John McCain will dump Sarah Palin as his VP (for his “October Surprise”), we are not agreed on how this will be done (other than it will be portrayed as Palin’s “choice”) and who his replacement choice will be. So DCJ is conducting a little survey.
Palin’s “excuse” for leaving the ticket will be that she, regretfully, must resign and return home to Alaska because:
1. She is pregnant, again (with a child to be named “Calc”)
2. Dick Cheney has challenged her to VP moose hunting shoot out from which she is unlikely to return
3. She needs to lobby for the “Bridge to Vladivostok.”
4. She believes that she has become possessed by Katie Couric and her Assemblies of God pastor needs to exorcise her.
5. She needed to get back to Alaska to accept her “Distinguished Alumna” award from South Moose-Igloo State Junior College,.
6. Other _______________________________
McCain will replace Palin with:
1. Mitt Romney (who will soil his Mormon underwear from the excitement)
2. Rudy Guiliani (who will soil his women’s underwear if Romney is chosen)
3. Joe Leiberman, (who is prepared because he wears a Depends body suit)
4. Mike Huckabee (who doesn’t wear underwear because Jesus didn’t)
6. Some other ridiculous choice _______________________________________________
Send in your vote: Excuse: ____________; Replacement: __________________________
©2008, James A. Clapp (UrbisMedia Ltd. Pub. 9.29.2008)