The Great Hair-Sprayed Dictator of North Korea, Kim Jong-il did not show up at some the usual festivities that are held there ( some marching military drone show that he seems to enjoy). Word out is that the “Dear Leader” had a stroke. DCJ is concerned that he might not survive to continue one of the most brutal, repressive regimes to make the Bush administration into even greater fools than they are. So we propose one of those Internet chain letters to the “Dear Leader,” who happens to be the only person in North Korea who is allowed an Internet connection. You can copy this one to send to him, adding whatever personal praise and good wishes you think he merits.
Dear (of course) Leader,
We’re so sorry that you are ill (forgive the pun). It is not our manner to wish anyone misfortune in their health. But let’s face it— you have been a sick little bastard long before you stroke. It’s hard to dredge up much sympathy for a self-aggrandizing little turd that has kept the people of North Korea imprisoned in a hyper-Stalinist gulag of slow death of their bodies and minds.
No doubt “your people” are demonstrating their concern and well-wishes for “Your Dearness.” This will perhaps lift your spirits so you can recover to continue oppressing and starving them. I’m just writing this to inform you that, like me, they’re faking it.
We wish you all that you deserve,
©2008, James A. Clapp (UrbisMedia Ltd. Pub. 9.13.2008)